5 things I Focused on when Becoming a Single Mum


This photo means a lot to me as it is an important time in my life where I made a major shift, I became a single mum out of choice.  As you can see I have 4 young Children, at the time they were 6 months, 2 Years, 4 Years and 6 Years, it was the hardest decision but at the same time the right one.

This was almost a year ago and I have come so far but I look at myself on this photo and I know that I was the strongest at that point.  I had decided to end an 11 year relationship, bring up 4 Children mainly on me own and not know what lay ahead of me.  I took a leap of faith and went with my intuition, plus the fact I knew I deserved a better relationship that the one I had.

At this point it was the start of the school holidays, I had to look after the Children plus arrange my life like moving house which wasn’t easy at all.  I could have crumbled but I am a girl with goals and beliefs so I decided to focus on what I wanted not what was bringing me down.

Here are 5 things that I focused on…

  • My Children-   Obviously the main thing was my Children, they were and are my world, being the best mum I can be is very important to me.  They gave me the strength to fight for what I believed in and that was what we all deserved as a happy home life.  We set up a new home, gained new routines and we started going out to more places as a family and having fun. I have seen such a change in the Children’s behaviour and I know that they are content.


  • Family that cared about me –    I am so grateful for my mum especially, I would never have got through it so well if it wasn’t for her emotional support, when I was upset she picked me back up and reminded me to focus on what I wanted.  My mum came over every single evening for 3 months to help me put the Children to bed as they were such hard work at the time.  I am so thankful for her helping me get them in a routine and just being there for me.


  • What I wanted in a relationship – From the time I became single I knew what I wanted in a relationship.   It was motivating to write down the qualities I wanted in a man, how I wanted my life to be.  I watched inspiring YouTube Videos that really helped me realise that I am worthy of happiness.  I loved hearing about people in a similar situation and meeting the love of their life, I believed that if it could happen to then it could happen to me, I still do believe this.


  • A Hobby or Business-   I always find it is best to have something positive to focus on especially in the evening.  If you are like me I can’t relax watching tv, so at the time I was in Direct Sales and every evening I was sharing my products and business on facebook.  Even though I realised that business wasn’t for me it had a purpose at the time.


  • Positive Friends–  I surrounded myself with positive uplifting friends who helped me keep the focus on the good.  A few of my friends have been through similar situations and met someone else, so it gave me that hope that the same would happen to me.  It is great to have that support especially when I have 4 Children and someone to laugh with.


If you are going through a similar situation I hope this helps you.  What did you focus on through the tough times?



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  • Reply
    Lisa (mummascribbles)
    June 20, 2016 at 9:28 am

    Seriously brave of you to make that decision. It would have been ‘easier’ to stay but it’s no good being in an unhappy relationship, no matter how many children you have. I love this list, it is so motivating for anyone who may be in a similar situation. It sounds like you have an amazing mum too…what a woman! Glad to hear that after a year, you still know that you made the right decision and it sound slike your children are better off for it. Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    • Reply
      Victoria @ The Positivity Mum
      June 20, 2016 at 9:39 am

      Thank you so much for your Lovely Comment Lisa. Thank you yes it was a hard decision, thankfully the right one. I do hope it helps someone going through a similar situation. Yes I know my mum is Amazing, actually went though a similar experience at the same age as me. I love the linky thank you 🙂

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