Motherhood Diaries- Single Mum Struggles

Motherhood Diaries

I know that this blog is called ‘The Positivity Mum’ but i’m not positive all the time, i’m human.  I do try my best to think on the positive side but sometimes life has its challenges or the Children are being a challenge.  In my case Friday it was the Children.

Being a single mum is not at all easy, its better than being upset like I was in my last relationship but its hard to be doing two parents roles all the time.  I guess I am exhausted after the Summer Holidays.

I’m the only one doing everything for the Children,

 

It’s only me sorting the Children in the night if they are too hot, too cold, wake up crying or thirsty.

 

It’s only me getting them up in the morning, in my case being woken up by the Children daily.

 

It’s only me getting the Children breakfast, tidying & washing up

 

It’s only me making sure their uniform or day clothes are washed, dried and ready for the next day

 

It’s only me who makes sure that they have uniform that fit, clothes that fit

 

It’s only me who gets the Children dressed or making them get ready

 

It’s only me taking them to school, making sure they have their sandwiches, pe kit & anything else that they need

 

It’s only me that makes sure we have food in the house, petrol in the car, bins out on bin day

 

It’s only me that picks the Children up from School, talks to the teachers and makes sure everything is ok

 

It’s only me who gets the Children tea, baths them and gets them ready for bed.

 

Obviously this is only a short version of exactly what I do on my own, the pressure is on as I have 4 precious people to look after on a daily basis.

 

The truth is I try my best and Friday I felt it was not good enough, even though I do so much for one mum as four children aged 7,5,3 & 1 are not easy.

 

I am finding the struggle of getting my 5 year old son dressed in the morning a huge problem, to the point we are late for school, by 5 mins max but still late.   Callum likes clothes being tight, he rolls up his trousers, likes to wear age 4 even though it is small on the length.

 

As it was a new year at school i bought new trousers and they were aged 5, they were not tight enough for Callum, he wanted his old trousers.  This morning as I was trying to get his trousers on he ran to my room and I had to drag him downstairs kicking and screaming, holding onto the banister and I was not strong enough to pull him off, I felt powerless. My Children were not listening to me and not respecting me.

 

I cried on the way to school as I was really upset, I try my best to be on time but with Callums paddy I was going to be late.

 

The school have started a sign in for Children that are late which made me anxious and stressed.  Unfortunately I live 15 minutes drive away and have been late three times this week, by 5 minutes.  We just missed the gate shutting and when I walked in to school the new receptionist said can you sign the book. Well I was fuming, not with her with myself as I put myself down, why can’t I be on time ,  why can’t my Children listen to me & why am I single and doing this alone?

 

Signing that book to me brought negativity my way, I felt like I was signing the ‘you are a crap mum book’ well it was the last straw I cried at school.  I always put on a brave face but deep down I am struggling.  Struggling at doing everything, looking after children, tidying a house, working on a business, not having support at home, not having time off as the Children’s dad is useless.  I did speak to the headteacher later in the day as she asked me to come in to help me so we have something lined up for the Children.  She was very understanding of my situation and knows I try my best.

 

Its so hard as I want to enjoy the Children now because they are growing so fast, not stressing about having to do it all.  I know the struggles are going to make me stronger but at the moment I am just experiences them.

 

I won’t be single forever but I will always be the best mum I can be even if I get upset now and again.  I just want to share that my life isn’t all rosy but we have to find the positive in even hard situations.

 

Victoria xxx

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10 Comments

  • Reply
    Fiona Cambouropoulos
    September 13, 2016 at 6:38 am

    No one can do more than their best and being a single parent must be so much harder, take things day by day, sounds like you are on top of so much more than you realize and enjoy the easier moments when they come along. #twinklytuesday

    • Reply
      Victoria @ The Positivity Mum
      September 13, 2016 at 7:57 pm

      Thank you so much Fiona, your comment is appreciated <3 I think I got very tired after the school holidays! The Children are happy too which i am very thankful for 🙂

  • Reply
    five little doves
    September 13, 2016 at 7:29 am

    Oh lovely, this made me so sad for you. I was a single mum too until I met my second husband and I remember how hard it was having all of the responsibility on myself and how absolutely exhausting it was, and lonely too. You sound like an amazing mummy, you’re doing the hardest job in the whole world, just keep going. Much love. #twinklytuesday

    • Reply
      Victoria @ The Positivity Mum
      September 13, 2016 at 8:01 pm

      Thank you so much for your lovely comment! I don’t like admitting I find it hard especially on my blog 🙂 Its so great to hear that you found a new man in your life, gives me hope 🙂 Yes its the responsibility, I did a lot when I was with my ex but at least someone was there too, especially at bedtimes! Getting 4 to bed is a nightmare. I will just keep going and I know that it will get better! Thank you!

  • Reply
    nadine
    September 13, 2016 at 12:38 pm

    You sound like you are an AMAZING mother. Being a single mum is over whelming and no one really understand the continued pressure from morning until night (and then night is never smooth!) you are tired, and just need a rest – but they need you. As you know although hard – we can be blessed with extraordinary moment that only you get to share 🙂 They will one day thank you for all you have done and sacrificed for them. #twinklytuesdays

    • Reply
      Victoria @ The Positivity Mum
      September 13, 2016 at 8:05 pm

      Thank you Nadine! Thats so lovely <3 Yes exactly the responsibility 247 is very hard! Yes thats it I am the only one that can do what I do. I always say I wouldn't want them away from me as the house is too quiet but I need a rest once a week 🙂 Yes I did this for them as well as me, I do hope so 🙂

  • Reply
    jeremy@thirstydaddy
    September 13, 2016 at 3:24 pm

    Must be tough. My wife and I work opposite shifts, so its always only one of us dealing with the kids at the time. Thats hard enough, I can’t imagine never having any help. Sounds like you have a level head and your priorities in order. I give you lots of credit #twinklytuesday

    • Reply
      Victoria @ The Positivity Mum
      September 13, 2016 at 8:08 pm

      Thank You Jeremy for your comment! Yes its hard to be the only one, school is my support really! Thank you I feel I keep it together and do my best, tiredness got me 🙂 Thank you very much!

  • Reply
    teacuptoria
    September 13, 2016 at 7:24 pm

    Aw Victoria, you sound as though you are doing an AMAZING job! I have only have one 10 year old son and I still struggle sometimes. I’m called Victoria and I’m a single mum too. We all have our bad days and we’re all allowed to get upset and feel a little overwhelmed sometimes. We are all doing our best, we don’t have to be perfect ever. It’s lovely to come over to your blog. Take care and keep smiling Tor xx

    • Reply
      Victoria @ The Positivity Mum
      September 13, 2016 at 8:10 pm

      Thank you Tor ! You are doing an Amazing job too! That was a bad day, the worse for a while! But I got back up and I feel stronger again! Thank you for your comment xx

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